


love me (or leave me)

by flirtgloss



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Affairs, Angst, Cheating, Hurt, Is this angst, Little Dialogue, Loneliness, M/M, Sad, im not even sure what to tag, mostly imagery, this is just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24948535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flirtgloss/pseuds/flirtgloss
Summary: when did i stop being enough for you?
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	love me (or leave me)

**Author's Note:**

> honestly this is just something that turned out to be decent enough to post. 
> 
> i Do Not!!!! encourage cheating i just tried using it as a way to convey the feelings i was trying show here. also i Do Not!!!! associate hyunjae with cheating or with anything despicable like that nor do i encourage you to do so. hyunjae and i are besties.
> 
> title comes from the day6 song of the same name btw mwah love u day6

the sound of keys jangling resonates through the cold air of the apartment.

chanhee deadly stares straight towards the gray-seeming wall as he hears the front door open and close. the bedroom was sunk in the somber tones of the empty night sky, the sneaky light coming from lampposts outside filtering in through blinds attached to the window and making their mark as straight lines reflected on the wall opposite to them. his light-colored hair lays spread out across his head and the pillow, dark roots carelessly grown in. his hands were closed around each other and his legs radiated a sense of warmth as they curled towards the center of his body, laying under the thick beige bed comforter weighing down lifelessly across the bed. he blinks hard sleeplessly, his lips pulled into an expressionless line. 

the footsteps clicking through the hallway matched the beating of chanhee’s heart that he heard lightly from the ear resting on the pillow.

chanhee blinked. one footstep, a second one, another one.

the room was dully cold for the nth night in a row even through the multiple layers of blankets on him. his eyes remained unmoving as they stared at the wall as they had been for an amount of time chanhee can no longer recall. it was the same thing nearly every night, but this night the moon wasn’t shining as bright and the room was darker, the air was more suffocating; chanhee could no longer hide behind closed eyes feigning blissfully ignorant sleep.

chanhee’s entire body involuntarily flinches when the door to the bedroom opens with a slight jerk.

one footstep, two footsteps, door close. 

hyunjae walks into their bedroom, his steps directed towards their walk-in closet located behind chanhee’s back. the light from inside the closet stays off, hyunjae probably not wanting to wake chanhee up from the sleep he presumes he is in. the clicking of shoes comes to a halt, to which chanhee supposes they had come off, and instead hears the lighter steps created by hyunjae’s bare feet.

he listens as the other takes off the rest of his clothes behind where he can see. listens as he unbuckles his belt and kicks off his trousers, placing them in the hamper with the built-up pile of his own dirty clothes waiting to be washed. listens as he unbuttons his white shirt and throws it in with the rest.

the white button-up shirt chanhee doesn’t even have to hold in his own hands to know it smelled like someone else.

hyunjae’s footsteps make their way out of the room and into the hallway again, and chanhee hears as the bathroom door slowly closes, quickly catching on that hyunjae was trying to be as quiet as possible. the showerhead turns on barely a minute after, the sound of the water spraying out and falling reverberating through the thin walls within the apartment. chanhee’s eyes continue to blanky stare at the wall in front of him, not fully knowing what he was looking for in it. his fingers now toying with the ring sitting on his left hand, running through the edges and the diamonds. his body an empty shell void of any clear thoughts being filled only by the breaths he took.

the sound from the shower eventually comes to a halt after a few minutes, and a few minutes after that, the footsteps return to the bedroom, the door closes, and continue to walk back into the walk-in closet.

chanhee takes a small but deep breath that doesn’t quite reach his lungs but instead burns at his chest; his body felt heavy as he silently turns to face the other side, his own body dead weight pulling itself down to the mattress making it much harder than it needed to be. his eyes scan a half-circle as he moved from facing the wall, to the ceiling, to hyunjae’s shirtless back; a towel wrapped around his hips, small droplets of water making their way down his back from his wet hair illuminated by the light from the closet, which was now switched on.

unbeknownst to chanhee’s awake eyes on him, hyunjae reaches towards the wardrobe drawers next to him and pulls out a pair of grey sweatpants, putting them on. chanhee’s top lip unconsciously twitches upwards as hyunjae turns around while drying his hair with the towel, pausing and his mouth falling a bit when he notices chanhee staring back at him, the hand holding the towel stagnant where it was pressed to his hair.

chanhee wasn’t supposed to be awake, and hyunjae wasn’t supposed to be coming home this late.

“you’re up.” hyunjae stated blankly.

chanhee blinked, sleep sneakily tugging at the corners of his eyes and his mind exhausted. “how was work?” he asked not really caring about the answer, his voice broken from not using it for hours.

“rough.”

hyunjae turns the light from the closet off and walks out of the room, his eyes darting to look anywhere but chanhee’s own in avoidance. when he walks in through the door a few seconds afterward, the towel previously on his hand is no longer there.

“it’s almost two.”

“yeah, well, i just told you work was rough.” he closes the door behind him—a clicking noise in the unnerving quiet—making his way towards the bed. 

“it’s always tough. you used to come home at nine. you’ve been coming home after midnight for weeks.” chanhee held no real bite behind his words, almost emotionlessly spewing out of him to float in the air for seconds.

“chanhee,” hyunjae sharply uttered out, almost in a warning. “don’t start.”

he immediately stopped talking. chanhee felt the words his brain was forming wither away, getting lost in the depths of his thoughts, no longer wanting to resurface in the form of speech. a knot grew tight in his throat that would have made his eyes form pools of tears if only he was able to feel anything but emptiness. broken words he has been meaning to confront the other with disintegrating; how he doesn’t bother leaving him dinner anymore, how he doesn’t bother waiting for him anymore, how he called his boss once worried to ask if he had left work already only to find out he had left two hours prior, how he called hyunjae right after that and he had told chanhee he was still at work, how he knows what he goes to do after he leaves work, how he was still denying to accept it, how he wants to end it once and for all.

what was left was the trapping feeling of being hopeless and lonely.

it wasn’t until hyunjae brought his knee up on the bed to lie down that chanhee realized how far he had deserted himself into the edge of his side of their bed, almost like he was a terrified creature cowering itself into a corner. the only thing he was terrified of was facing the truth he was already aware of.

he turned back around to face the wall, his body as painfully heavy as before. the wall still seemed lifeless and grey, like a mirror staring back at him. nothing had changed as he hoped in the back of his mind it would, because it wasn’t going to.

hyunjae had fallen asleep after a few minutes, the soft breaths he let out the only indication he was in the same room. the only indication to chanhee that he was not the only entity in the room, countering the pressing loneliness chanhee felt inside of him. the warmth hyunjae radiated on the bed was unsettling, and chanhee curled his legs more into himself as a way of seeking his own warmth and comfort. he stared sleeplessly at the wall for what felt like endless hours and focused on how his lungs filled with every breath he took, and how they ached in emptiness when he exhaled.

he slightly raised his left hand in front of him, staring at the ring wrapped around his finger, and felt absolutely nothing as he slid it off with the fingers on his other hand. nothing except the loss of the pressuring weight previously wrapped around his finger. he held it in between his pointer finger and thumb, almost inspecting it, turning it from one side to another. he looked at the diamonds that shined in the bright light of the sun, and the smooth band around the back.

and felt nothing as it made a small clinking sound against the glass top of his nightstand as he dropped it there. 

he closed his heavy eyes and rested his hands next to his head, hoping to quickly succumb to sleep.

hyunjae will find it there when he comes home from work at night.

**Author's Note:**

> cool anyway


End file.
